can anyone do it all right? parenting guidelines

I've come to the conclusion that there are simply too many 'rules' in parenting; can anyone do everything the right way?  I know I can't.

This all started to snowball in my head when Will saw the dentist and has a cavity at 3.5 years old!  It has to be filled because he won't lose it until he's about 12...bummer.  I have to say, I was in a bit of shock.  We brush his teeth daily.  Rarely drink any watered down juice in our house.   Candy has never been an issue because he doesn't like most sweets.  Fruit snacks have been once a day for about 6 months now (not at all starting today - sorry buddy!).  People have made jokes about Will's healthy eating habits and I have had to tell him "no more fruit today" on a somewhat regular basis.  He chooses veggies over a cookie!  I thought I had the job of keeping my kids healthy right...now a cavity at 3.5, geez!!  So, I learned some dental rules in addition to the: stay away from juices, sugary candy, brush and floss as soon as you see teeth and even before...now, it's: first dental visit at 1yr old, allow at least 2 hours between snacking/meals/drinks (no matter how healthy the snack), no grazing, chew only gum with xylitol as a substitute for sweets if necessary, the list goes on...

I also checked out the new car seat regulations & recommendations - say what!?  I'm all about keeping my kids safe, but I can't imagine having just turned Will to face forward at 3.5 years old!  They say that you should keep your child rear facing, then as restrained as possible (5pt harness) until the car seats size limits are met/exceeded.  So, for our convertible car seat, Will should have been backward facing up to 40 pounds.  Wow, can you imagine?  Have you seen him?  He's the size of a 5yr old!  I have not turned Mason backwards again either, and truthfully, I don't plan on it.  These are not the new laws, just the new recommendations that I am not following.  Rebel Mom!

So, I've heard A LOT of guidelines for parents to follow while raising kids starting from pre-pregnancy, but I'm starting to feel like following all of them is impossible!  Here are a few 'rules' that I can ramble off from the top of my head:

1. NEVER wake a sleeping baby (from a pediatrician)
2. You MUST wake a sleeping baby to nurse every 3 hours for the first few weeks (yes, again from a pediatrician, contradicting #1)
3. breast feeding is THE best (they almost make you feel guilty when you say the word formula)
4. you must have a set schedule for sleeping, eating, playtime, etc
5. a million rules on discipline and time-outs
6. food allergies: don't expose to certain items until 1 or 2 years but now some say that early exposure may help decrease allergies
7. never use a baby walker, they are not safe
8. don't let your baby sleep in a car seat when unnecessary 
9. never give tylenol, it can damage organs (if you do give meds, must be dye free)
10. no pacifier and no bottle after 12 months
11. little or no juice and absolutely no soda
12. potty training has it's own book
13. cut hotdogs lengthwise more than once to avoid choking (same with grapes and other round food)
14. avoid foods with artificial colors, sweeteners, aspartame, etc (impossible!)
15. avoid toys made with bpa or toxins in the paint
16. no more than 30 60 or 90 minutes of television per day (depending on age)
17. leave child rear facing and in 5pt harness until they physically outgrow the car seats height/weight restrictions.
18. do not use chemicals around/on anything that has contact with children
19. must eat nutritionally balanced family meals daily
20. floss and brush twice a day for 1-2 minutes
21. ignore tantrums, walk away, don't yell or get upset
22. start with veggie baby foods, otherwise they may grow up to hate veggies and only like fruit
23. you must be consistent and on the same page as your spouse
24. discipline the first time and every time
25. don't over-do the video games
26. cover all electrical outlets
27. keep all doors shut to bathrooms and stairs
28. have carseat installed by fire/police dept
29. Keep all small objects out of child's reach
30. cover all sharp edges/corners
31. use only flame retardant pj's, but wait, those chemicals are bad for them!
32. always minimize sun exposure, reapply sunscreen often - but be sure they get enough vitamin D
33. always dispose of any extra formula after a feeding
34. use only a cool mist humidifier to avoid burns
35. do not allow eating in the car, always be seated when eating

The list could be endless, and this is only the 'avoid negative stuff' rules - there are still all of the 'encourage the positive stuff' rules, like: remember to catch them being good, provide new and engaging activities, take parent 'time-ins', read a minimum of 30 minutes/day, sing lots of songs, narrate your every move to encourage good vocabulary, recognize what the child is good at/likes and expand/encourage on that, encourage children to assist you in everyday activities even if it slows you down, etc.....another endless list.

So, there you have it.  That's why I'm throwing in the towel on trying to stay in line and accepting that my best is just going to have to be good enough...cavities and all.  For some reason, the serenity prayer came to mind all of the sudden!  ha!

If you have any rules to add...please leave a comment...I can't promise, but I'll try to follow!